Lesbian Partnerships
Women from all walks of life are currently under siege in marriages and relationships where they are disrespected by their partners in the most defaming and manipulative ways.’
Even in an age of feminine visibility, our rights are reduced when we are confronted with the onset of abuse from a person we may love but has severe issues handed down from past lovers or parents. Much of this is kept within the confines of a shared home so outsiders are not always aware of the pain being inflicted on one partner or both depending on their inherited traits of dysfunction. In writing this I am aware of how bad it can get when a partner comes from an upbringing of outlandish abuse. This can be the horror place a child grows up in where there is sexual abuse within the family framework. The silence is deafening as a child becomes a collaborator in keeping the secret while having to navigate their innocence taken by those very people who were meant to love and protect them. Sadly many gay kids are the victims of sexual predators who care little for the emotional upheaval this will cause in a child’s growth and how they perceive love and physical touch as an adult. There are many lesbian and bisexual women who have suffered childhood abuse and carry the psychological effects into unions with women that may mirror their earlier abuser. The cycle continues as the wounded heart of the child victim attracts the familiarity in a partner that may also have been abused or has become the abuser from their unhealed wounds. It’s a vicious cycle that goes unattended until one or both partners seek healing and healthier visions of love.
‘It’s a lonesome journey and if this is a lesbian/ bisexual union the cone of silence can prevent either partner from breaking free or talking to sympathetic ears.’
You see lesbian relationships suffer the same lack of respect as heterosexual marriages but there is often a difference. Many are cloaked for the public and family as a credible togetherness when really it is a cover-up for a home of abuse and despair. Why do gay men and women pretend to their workmates, friends, and family their relationship is a role model of perfection? The truth lies in the darker attitudes of a world that chooses to alienate people of difference because they cannot find a connection at a soul or human level. These are long-held beliefs about a God who condemns their gay, lesbian, and bisexual children as a non-negotiable sin. The halo of religious spite is by no means angelic as homosexuals are branded with the tag of biblical outlaws. This is not the stance of all religions and there has been a softening in the churches as the parish doors flung open with a gesture of goodwill to members of the LGBT community. I chose to decline and walked towards spirituality and a God that offered a refuge of unconditional love for all, their creations. Here I feel a sense of belonging as a soul who embraces her sexuality as a glamorous miracle of life. I am who I am and share this beautiful enduring style of difference in the most prophetic and loving way. Some will deny my authentic peace but I am a woman who understands her role as a change-maker of tired ideals.
‘My religion is reincarnation and the passage of the soul to higher learning.’
It’s a conscious choice and one I embrace from the puristic depths of my heart. I see a world beyond discrimination where humans unify for the betterment of all. In this sacred space, homosexuals and heterosexuals inspire unions of compatible love and closeness. Sadly we are not here yet and many lesbian couples are drowning in partnerships of unmet needs from patterns of abuse. The stigma around being gay is strong and binding so when a couple admits there are problems it tends to bring shame to being gay itself. This is the nature of a world that looks for the cracks in its shaky foundational beliefs. This might be different for a male and female union where support systems are put in place by family and professionals to aid repair. Over the fence, a homosexual couple having relationship issues will feel the pressure from those who disown their sexuality as unworkable. This puts a lesbian couple in no man’s land as they stay together for fear of reproach. We now have a lesbian couple in trauma as their issues go unresolved. If the extended family dynamic is in any way homophobic it will be difficult to call upon relatives for advice and guidance. This imbues lesbian lovers with a sense of separation from each other, extended family, and humans who discount a romantic relationship between two women. The overview of this dynamic is a couple afraid to seek help.
Spiritual Lesbian
‘The mating call from one woman to another can inspire a deeply intimate connection that may override the necessity for compatibility.‘
Their fast-moving romanticism can leave them breathless as they disregard the importance of each other’s intricate values, likes, and dislikes before sealing their bond with an engagement or moving in together. Women are love bombed with movies and fairytales from a young age where prince charming or in this storyline princess charming climbs the tower to rescue their true and forever love. Glossy magazines vamp up the love bug with snippets of the famous finding the love of their life and selling it as a romantic epic of two souls who found each other through many lifetimes. This is the holy grail of eternal flames and true as twin flames and soulmates. are magnetically drawn together in a waltz of nostalgic remembrance. It’s a beautiful meeting of past life lovers who return with a hypnotic memory and love to be rekindled. You will know and feel this person and their electric energy. Each person’s energetic blueprint will carry the lessons to be learned and missions to be carried out as a soulmate team. If they are lesbian or bisexual it will have been agreed upon before coming to earth that they would be a same-sex couple. This puts the bias of homosexuality in its place as a soul chooses to be gay and share their love sexually and emotionally.
‘We can revisit past life soulmates but how it works out will depend on what happened in this life and the last.’
A romantic relationship requires each partner to feel a peaceful comfort in each others knowing who they are and what they stand for. This includes each woman’s view of how she interprets the world plus her dreams and goals. It’s okay to have points of difference that enhance the overall connection but if they seriously don’t get on it may not be a compatible match. When we are all loved up the overload of endorphins tends to keep the red flags at half-mast until reality lights up the truth. This is the test of loving another human who may have their own vision of what a relationship looks like. For some, it could be a level of control based on their parent’s style of partnership. Others may be codependent from watching their mother put up with an abusive husband who got wasted and beat her up. There are so many factors that can make a relationship skid out of control. People are broken in this world and carry their shattered hearts into new relationships without realizing the impact these negative patterns can have. We see, feel, and hear them growing up and consider them normal until we smash the need to relive our parent’s marital theme.
‘It’s a brave person who can analyze the patterns of others and take a hard look at how they are reflecting.’
We are all mirroring each other on this planet and that makes for a world of malfunction. The amount of wounded souls guarantees a negative trait will show up in most relationships begging to be redeemed and healed. It’s a massive undertaking happening here on earth as many souls are awakening to the chaos in their close partnerships. My focus is primarily on lesbian and bisexual women who suffer the agony of feeling alone in their primary unions but may be oblivious to why they choose who they do and why it so often ends in heartache. If you are reading this and these words resonate with your own lesbian marriage take heart that nothing is set in stone and relationships can be repaired. It takes an open mind and understanding your relationship may be in crisis. That light-bulb moment can be an open door to healing the pain if both partners are willing to do the work. It’s not easy to navigate relationships in a time of epidemics, rising prices, and future unknowns causing many lesbian unions to fall by the wayside. When times are hard it will test the partnership’s ability to weather the storms as a same-sex couple in an uncertain world. On a personal note, I was sexually attacked some years ago by a male and it took a while before I pushed myself to heal with counseling. Luckily my counselor was a lesbian and this created a zone of compassion and understanding of how it felt to be dishonored in such a heartless way. It broke my heart and that was the hardest part to heal even though this was a stranger who assaulted me.
Lesbian Counseling
‘I realized how vulnerable as women we are and why we so often stay silent when we are treated in such a disrespectful way.’
This situation was finalized in a courtroom and the culprit faced prison time leaving me to pick up the pieces of a completely shattered life. It was a long way back to a sense of safety that came from finding the courage within. Now I encourage gay women to speak up when they are being abused or are in untenable relationships where adverse patterns are being played out. In fact, it is time to push back the fear of needing help in a female-only union. You are not alone and should never feel you can’t ask for support because you will be judged for not making the relationship work. I guarantee plenty of the hard-knockers are having their own issues as this planet is bulging with defunct relationships where partners die because they were too afraid to speak of their abuse. Women for eons have been flattened as the submissive secondary partner in marriages based on religious doctrine or generational programming. We were taught to be less than we are as divine feminines and carriers of new-life souls coming to earth. Reincarnation is the vehicle for every soul wanting to skydive on this planet. Here we get to discover our human self a shield of skin and bones created for our journey. We come in all styles of people with all kinds of beliefs pre-determined by what powerful humans told us or we pave our way with the spirit of a trailblazer. That is if we are brave enough to live in the unique truth of who we are. For me, that is a divine feminine lesbian with a need to create and make waves in this world of illusion about being gay. I am a New Earther who knows man and womankind will only survive if we take a u-turn towards unity and due care for each other and our planetary home. That means building bridges across prejudice an ancient analogy of blindness to the diversity of our species.
‘When there is an awareness we are souls bound in bodies for the duration of life. it seems silly we throw stones at people whose human armor looks or acts differently.’
This 3-dimensional realm we occupy as humans is the field of adventure for souls and only part of the eternal story. When I chose to be a lesbian in this current incarnation I knew it would be demanding but the challenges would animate the ‘top shelf of growth.’ I am a messenger for change and embracing the task given to bring tenderness to a world of manic bias. It’s a tough gig at times but an honor to serve in the cause of global oneness. Within every lesbian, there is a Goddess of divine making and when she finds her inner fire the world takes note of this woman of contrast. She is here to showcase the many ways we can love and inspire relationships that sparkle with high-vibrational love and intimacy. This lesbian brave heart speaks the language of unity with her celebrated sexuality leading the way for others to follow. Finding her voice in a sea of dissidence is imperative for her sisters to be heard especially in times of relationship duress. Silence breeds disempowerment as lesbian couples suffer the indignity of abuse. We need to embrace self–love and rise above the collective thinking we are too different to be heard. Not so as I believe when we touch the soul of self-worth as women who love women we find our inner hero. A mystical, mysterious woman who makes no apologies for who she is. My last word is for all lesbian relationships to thrive with love and not suffer in the stillness of hardship. If you feel uncomfortable talking to therapists there is an array of online experts who offer easy-to-understand methods for working through relationship problems. We need to be gentle with ourselves and understand we are not taught the ABC’s of relationships and feel lost when arguments are the norm. For example, one partner may prefer to hide their lesbian status while the other is happy to be publicly outed. There are many issues a lesbian couple will face making support a must-have for a relationship of peace, love, and the strength to heal the wounds so deeply ingrained.
‘When we fall in love and meet the person we consider our true love it can be a beautiful experience marred only by a chaotic childhood and unhealed wounds.’
Author ~ Linda E Cole (The Divine Feminine)
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